Yesterday we talked about anger. Today I received some messages that confirmed my suspicions. People do not feel like they can express anger and not be judged or worse the dreaded “cancelled”.
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I think we can and we need to normalize anger again. Our health depends on it.❤️
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Two things need to shift for us to accomplish this goal. We have to be purposeful and intentional with how we express anger and we have to be purposeful and intentional with how we respond to anger.👏
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We cannot come unhinged with anger and expect people to be receptive. Also, we cannot freak out and block people or run away at the first sign of anger. That recently happened to me actually. Bam, blocked for asking questions🤣. We need to get more comfortable with anger. Its normal, we need to act like it.
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Some people cannot field a question about their opinions. They take it as a personal assault. That’s pretty embarrassing behavior for an adult and it says a lot about the level of their emotional intelligence.
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We need to be able to handle questions about our viewpoints without storming off. Questions are permittable! It’s how we build understanding. It’s also how we learn more about our own beliefs.😃
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If we aren’t prepared to answer questions about our viewpoint then we should think more about it before we express it. If we express it and we are caught off guard (cause that happens) then it’s perfectly ok to say, I’ll get back to you on that I need to think about it some more. 🤷🏻‍♀️Anger Strategies 🙌🏼
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The problem is we get caught up in reacting instead of responding. Responding requires thinking first and when we feel anger we can skip that step and react in a way that isn’t productive.
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We are all human and that means we aren’t perfect. We will never be perfect at expressing anger, but the more we practice it the better we will get at it. It starts simply with awareness.
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As a parent I would like to see our society as a place where it’s perfectly normal to express anger and work through it instead of stuffing it down and being encouraged to “don’t be mad”. That’s not a resolution!
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Here are 7 benefits to feeling angry. (Resources: Good Therapy and Psychology Today)
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Anger is a bargaining tool.
It erupts when someone puts a lower value or weight on your welfare relative to their own. This signals to the other side that this isn’t acceptable. It’s a reflection of our standards.
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Anger is designed to promote survival.
It’s our fight response. It’s embedded in us for protection from aggressors and promotes our instinct to live.
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Anger provides a sense of control.
It’s related to a deep instinct to stay in control and it helps protect what is ours allowing us to be in charge rather than feeling helpless.
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Anger Motivates
It motivates us to solve problems. It propels us into change by letting us know things are not the way they should be.
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Anger protects your values and beliefs.
It acts as a personal value indicator. Anger is activated when our values are not aligned with the situation we face.
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Anger injects optimism.
It encourages us to focus on what we want to achieve rather than focusing on pain, insult or victimization.
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Anger is energizing.
Gives us strength and aggression to help us overcome stronger enemies.
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Today we are experiencing a culture that wants to cancel us for not sharing in ONE singular popular “inclusive” values and belief system. It’s ok to have your own viewpoints even when they don’t align with others. That’s what makes us individuals!!!!!
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We don’t need permission from anyone to hold our own belief systems.
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Getting proficient at handling and expressing anger is a valuable skill. We are empowered when we can express our viewpoints and overcome the impulse to walk away without standing up for what we believe in.
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www.naturallyinspiredpodcast.com
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